I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
