shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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