Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
