So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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