I think I died a long time ago.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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