shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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