Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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