Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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