When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How external is "for external use only"?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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