Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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