i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize