I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
