there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
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Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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