are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize