The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
