Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
