a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
