Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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