if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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