What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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