You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
