Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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