you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When are your genitals available?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
