We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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