end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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