...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
