I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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