Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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