grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize