The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
