btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize