idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize