I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
