We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
