I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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