Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
