he wants to bone in the snuggie
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
