Whod you bang
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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