oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
