Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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