Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
