Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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