I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize