Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize