Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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