Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize