Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
