That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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