Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
They took my balls.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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