the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize