walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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