I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
