3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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