i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
