just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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