I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
